the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
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