I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
