I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
