You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
