there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
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