im drinking this country out of the recession.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Randomize
