It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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