i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
