i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize