Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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