so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
