She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
