I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
