I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Randomize
