You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
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