His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
