I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
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she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
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Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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