Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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