its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
