It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
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