i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
You are the jesus of drinking
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
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