Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
