there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
