Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
We smell like vodka and hangover
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
