brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
When did angry sex become our thing?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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