i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
