The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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