I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I just got carded by a ten year old.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Of course I have a pirate flag
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
