he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Randomize
