I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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