something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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