You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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