It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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