He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
