No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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