Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
