Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
