just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
