I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize