Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
my sisters under your porch take her home
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
