You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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