He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
i out mim tonsoeep
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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