dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
