In the future we'll all be gay
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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