so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Still dying that you shit outside
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
