So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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