i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Randomize
