Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
