i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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