god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
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After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
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Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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