Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
