i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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