You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
