At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Randomize
