i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize