I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
