I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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