If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Someone signed my nipple.
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